


i wish i had known you sooner

by sentichefuoripiove



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, not canon?? idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 08:23:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18246062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sentichefuoripiove/pseuds/sentichefuoripiove
Summary: Andrew watches Alex take the kids upstairs, and then pulls himself up from the couch. He goes to the small table in the corner where Bailey took the pictures from, and puts them back in their place carefully, looking them over again, one by one. He takes his time, now that he doesn’t have to be careful with his expressions for the kids’ sake.There's a party at Meredith's house, and Andrew gets a little bit more insight into her past.Might become part of a series of oneshots.





	i wish i had known you sooner

The house looks a lot smaller now that there are so many people here. Furniture has been moved around the living room to accomodate the crowd that is supposed to attend, and right now Andrew is standing in the kitchen by the sink, looking into the other room as another group of people comes in through the door greeted by Maggie, who has been put in charge of welcoming the guests. 

That had been an easy decision, since between the three sisters she was probably the only one that could manage to keep a sincere face during the whole night. Amelia is standing awkwardly next to the couch, glass of water in hand, stealing glances at… _Is she looking at Linc?_ Andrew realizes in disbelief, not remotely ready to unpack all of that.

So, two sisters accounted for, _but where is Meredith?_

Andrew has started to realize it would be very typical of her to not show up to a party _she_ is throwing, at _her_ house, but he isn’t going to panic just yet. She’s going to turn out soon, she’s probably just running late at the hospital.

He leaves his post in the kitchen, and starts to go around the room, nodding at a couple of people from work, barely talks Bailey out of starting on the buffet she has been eyeing for a while (and almost manages to get Amelia to admit she has been making sex eyes at Linc), and by the time he makes it back to the kitchen, Meredith is there, busy moving food around on trays.

“Hi, you’re here!” he comes up to her, hand coming to rest on the small of her back.  
“Yes, I made it” she replies, still plating the food. “Some intern wasn’t sure about the dosage of some meds for a patient, I had to check it out. And before you say anything” she stops what she’s doing, turns to look at him and finds him very close to her, “This time there’s no caterer, so it’s not like I’m hiding in the kitchen to avoid the party.”  
“That’s not what I was thinking at all” he grins, “Though you should probably get out there anyway. People are here for you.” his tone is softer now, quieter.  
“They are not here for me. They are here because the anniversary of the hospital changing its name into Grey-Sloan is as good as any excuse to eat and drink for free.” He knows she’s not exactly sharing everything she’s feeling, but for now he is willing to let it go.

“Alright, but regardless Maggie could use a little help, I think. She puts up a good face but she looks kinda done with being the welcome wagon. Want me to get you a drink?” he says as he walks away from her, toward the cart on the other side of the room.  
“Oh, yes thank you. Can I get…” she yells back at him, before getting distracted by Alex appearing in the kitchen.

“Hey, everything ok?” she asks the other man, her tone concerned, the way they both get when they can already tell what the other is gonna answer. 15 years of friendship will get you that kind of telepathy.

“Well, not really” Alex scoffs, “Jo wasn’t feeling well, so I had to come her alone which sucks, because I have no one to talk to, and I can’t even drink because I’m gonna have to drive myself home later.”  
“Do you want to stay here? I think Maggie is going to Jackson’s after, and she won’t mind you using her room. This way you get your beer and tomorrow you’re already here for breakfast.” she offers with a smile.

“Oh, you’re staying tonight?” Andrew has come back with her drink, a glass of wine she didn’t ask for but he had predicted anyway, settling again against her, his hand finding its way where it was resting before.  
“Let me think about it, let’s see how the night goes” Alex says, with a bit of a frown at how close the two are standing. “Maybe, if Jo gets worse. I love her, but I don’t want to catch whatever plague she’s got going.” He steals one of the sandwiches on the trays between them, and with his mouth full he turns his attention to Andrew.

“Hey man, did Jackson show you the new pool he put up on the boat? I swear, now he’s just trying to piss us off.”  
“No, he didn’t! I’m going to see if he’s around and I’ll ask him” Andrew says, turns to Meredith until they are looking each other in the eye. 

Alex doesn’t mean to stare, but he can’t really look away. Meredith and Andrew hold each other’s gaze for a moment, their features softening before he leans down and gives her a quick peck on the lips, smiling before leaving her side again and venturing into the crowded house.

“Do you two really need to be this disgusting?” Alex asks with a grimace.  
“Shut up” Meredith scolds him, “like you didn’t haunt us with all your girlfriends all these years. We lived under the same roof, I remember the noises.”  
Alex shudders at the thought of her possibly returning the favor. “Yeah, I’m definitely not spending the night after what you just said.”

***

Andrew found Jackson and looked at the new pool (which honestly isn’t any more outrageous than the old one already was), and is now standing in the middle of the room, uncertain of what to do next. He doesn’t want to go find Meredith, because he can see her talking to a couple of attendings from the hospital, and he really doesn’t want to look like the clingy boyfriend who constantly needs to be at her side. He already made small talk with the people he knows, so he decides that sitting on the couch for a minute wouldn’t look too bad.

As soon as he does, he feels small hands clutching at his legs, and suddenly he has Bailey climbing into his lap, followed by his older sister, that just sits next to Andrew on the couch, serious expression on her face. 

“Hi guys” the start of a question in his tone, “What are you doing here? Should you still be up?” Andrew asks, sitting his beer on the coffee table so that he can put his hands on Bailey’s back to steady him on his legs.

“Mommy said that it’s fine for tonight. She said that Dr Bailey and Dr Weber wanted to say hi to us, so we could come to the party for a bit before going to bed. Ellis is already asleep though, because she’s too young” Zola explains, the usual poised and serious tone she has when talking to adults. She really takes her role as older sibling very seriously.

“Oh, ok” Andrew agrees, “So, are you enjoying the party so far?” he smiles at both of them, makes a funny face at Bailey, who giggles happily and leans his head on Andrew’s shoulder.  
“It’s not bad” Zola eagerly tells him, “Mommy put out pictures of Auntie Lexie, and Dad, and all these people that used to work at the hospital, so we asked Dr Bailey if she knew all of them. She got kinda sad, so we stopped and came here and found you.”

“Are there really pictures?” Andrew is surprised: he went around the room a couple of times that night, but apparently didn’t notice them.

“Yeah, wanna see?” Bailey perks up at Andrew’s question, and not waiting for an answer gets off his lap and runs to a table in a corner, coming back with a couple of frames in different sizes. He offers them to Andrew, who picks the boy up and settles him at his side, before taking the photos to look at them.

The first one is a group shot, of people all dressed up in tuxes and gowns, and Andrew imagines it must be from someone’s wedding. He recognizes most of them: Meredith with a radiant smile, a man’s arm around her waist (he sees in the corner of his eye that Zola’s brow is furrowed, and she looks sad, and he doesn’t need any explanation to understand that’s Derek in the picture). On the other end of the group there are Arizona and Dr Torres, their hands clutched together, and Andrew knew they were married, but even when he lived with Robbins he had never seen a photo of them together like this. It feels odd.

“This photo is from Uncle Alex’s first wedding” Zola explains, her face focused, like she is taking her role as teacher very seriously. She is so Meredith’s daughter, he has to hold back his laugher.

“These two are Sophia’s moms” she continues, “and this is her dad” and points to a tall guy next to them, smiling broadly at the camera. It takes him a second to realise he actually has seen that face before, in the lobby at the hospital, next to the plaque to commemorate…

“So this girl here is your aunt?” Andrew tries carefully, because he really doesn’t want to upset the girl. He’s not sure how much she would actually remember about these people.

“Yes. She used to babysit me a lot when I was super little and Mommy and Dad had really big surgeries” Zola says, and it seems she isn’t really bothered by it that much.

“You know, Mommy told me that once she had to stay home for a long time because she had given a piece of liver to her dad” she is telling him now, shuffling the pictures to look at all of them, and he almost misses what she says next because _Meredith was an organ donor? How doesn’t he know that?_ “and my dad had to do a big surgery on a patient’s spine and she helped him over the phone.”

“Oh, really?” and maybe he is exaggerating his surprise that way you do when you talk to children, but honestly he wouldn’t even need to do that because _wow, did that really happen?_

“Yeah, and she drew it on the wall!” Bailey interjects, jumping gleefully by his side. “Once I asked Mommy if I could draw on the walls too, but she said it is just for special, super important things” he continues, clearly still thinking his mother’s decision was totally unfair.

“And who is this?” Andrew asks, pointing at another photo of Meredith with a dark haired woman. He already knows the answer to that one, has seen plenty of that face around the house and in medical papers, but he is really enjoying talking to the kids like this, and at the same time he hopes to steer the conversation toward a safer topic.

“This is Cristina!” Bailey says excitedly, his fingers leaving imprints on the glass of the frame as he reaches to touch it. “She is Mommy’s best friend in the whole wide world, and did you know she lives in, in…” he trails off, confused by the hard word he can’t seem to remember. Andrew has to try really hard not to laugh at how adorable he looks.

“Switzerland, Bailey.” his sister helps him. “She lives in Switzerland and she promised me she is going to show me the tapes of my grandma’s surgeries when I’m older.”

Andrew’s eyes widen in surprise. “Does- Does your mom really have Ellis Grey’s surgeries on tape? Where is she keeping them?”

“Settle down, DeLuca. Those tapes are for close friends only, and viewing parties are completely at Mer’s discretion” Alex’s voice from behind the couch makes all three of them turn their heads to find him standing there, and even if his tone was dark, Andrew is relieved to find the other man smirking at him.

“Ok guys, mom says it’s time for bed. Do you want me to tuck you in? We haven’t done that in a while.”  
Both Bailey and Zola agree happily, the boy climbing the back of the couch and flinging himself into Alex’s waiting arms. 

Andrew watches Alex take the kids upstairs, and then pulls himself up from the couch. He goes to the small table in the corner where Bailey took the pictures from, and puts them back in their place carefully, looking them over again, one by one. He takes his time, now that he doesn’t have to be careful with his expressions for the kids’ sake.

Pictures of Meredith with people he mostly didn’t recognize, and some where she wasn’t even in. Meredith with light blue scrubs, a lot younger than he has ever known her (she would probably argue he would have liked her better when she was younger, he would probably say that was nonsense). 

In one picture she is sitting on one of the gurneys from the tunnels with Alex, Cristina and two other people he’s vaguely aware he should know the names of. Alex and Meredith are both hunched over a book, clearly in the middle of a conversation, and he smiles at their body language, because _that_ , that ease, he recognises, it’s been exactly the same since the moment he met them, and that is exactly why he doesn’t feel weird at the thought of the other man tucking in his girlfriend’s kids for the night, like he’d already done it hundred times (Carina always makes doubtful faces at him when he tells her, but Andrew really isn’t bothered by it).

On the front and centre of the table there are a couple pictures of her sister and the man he didn’t recognize at first, who he now remembers to be Mark Sloan.

Andrew remembers Meredith telling him they would have liked him, that time in the elevator when they didn’t even kiss that now feels like a million years ago. Looking at their faces, Andrew thinks he probably would have liked them too. 

He gets himself another beer, and as he wonders if he should go find Jackson again (maybe he could try and get out of him the promise of another boat trip), his gaze lands on Meredith, who is now deep in conversation with Dr Bailey. 

They are standing close to each other, the shorter woman’s head tilted to meet Meredith’s eyes, and even if Andrew can’t make out their words, if feels like their conversation isn’t medicine-based like the ones he’s used to seeing.

Bailey is talking to her, and Meredith’s head drops as she listens, eyes fixated on the bottom of the glass she is holding. 

Bailey places her hand on Meredith’s elbow, and she has a maternal look in her eyes that surprises him. Sure, everyone knows that Bailey is a hardass only in her exterior, and that she is actually very nurturing toward younger doctors, and Meredith has told him a bit about the fact that Bailey was her resident when she started as an intern, but he had never realised the extent of how special the two women’s relationship must have been over the years. 

Meredith raises her head, and her eyes meet Andrew’s, who suddenly realises he has probably been staring at her for at least a couple minutes. She gives him a questioning look, and he smiles to reassure her. He thinks she tries to do the same, but there’s just enough sadness in her eyes for Andrew’s heart to break a little bit. 

***

The party has finally come to a close, the last people saying goodbye to her at the door. He has made himself busy by starting to tidy up the mess of the living room, stacking empty trays of food and throwing away used napkins that are scattered on the tables. He doesn’t hear her come up behind him and put her arms around his chest, but smiles as he feels her rest her head in between his shoulder blades, letting out a deep sigh that means she is finally allowing herself to relax.

He puts the trays back on the table and turns to face her, his arms circling her so that they are now hugging in the middle of her living room, the floor lamp on the other side of the room as the only source of light.

“Hey” she says quietly.  
“Hi. Did tonight go ok, you think?” he replies, squeezing her a little to comfort her.  
“Yeah, I think… Being reminded of the two of them is always hard, but I think it went ok” she mumbles into his chest. He supposes it’s fine if she doesn’t feel like looking him in the eyes.

“I know” he reassures her.  
“And it’s not just Lexie and Mark” she continues. He really didn’t expect her to, but he lets her speak, “I looked around and there were all these people missing tonight, people that were in my life and now they are not. And I wish they could see me now, and I wish I could see them and see what they have become.”

“I know. Your kids gave me quite a lecture on their mommy’s entourage” he tells her jokingly, hoping to lighten her mood a little.

“Did they now” she says surprised, raising her head to meet his eyes.

“Oh yes. And I had almost convinced Zola to show me your mom’s surgery tapes before Alex came to take them to bed and ruined all the fun.” They both laugh, and he revels in the sound of her laugher, the way it fills the room and it softens her eyes. 

He lets it die down, and they enjoy the silent house, still tangled into each other, standing in the middle of the living room, her head back to rest on his chest. 

“I wish I had known you sooner” he whispers into her hair, and she takes a sharp breath in, like she wasn’t expecting him to talk, and definitely not to say something like that.

“Did they show you my pictures from my intern year?” she tries to cover. “Because I hate to tell you this, but I’m never going to look that good again, I’m sorry. You’re stuck with old and wrinkly me” she tells him in a casual tone, but he can tell she is trying to downplay the way what he said made her feel. Not for the first time tonight, he is willing to let this one go.

“If you expect me to shower you with _‘what are you talking about, you still look great’_ compliments, Dr Grey, think again because…no, wait, you’d be right, that’s exactly what I’m going to do” he chuckles.

This is what finally makes her raise her head again, her eyes twinkling and laugher bubbling again in her throat, and she raises on her toes to kiss him deeply, possibly trying to ease the sadness the evening has brought to her.

He lets her for a while, before he regretfully disentangles himself from her so that she can go to sleep. Tomorrow is Waffle Sundays, and even if they now are, for all intents and purposes, together, that is an entirely different thing, and he understands why he is not to attend.

But, as they stand on her doorway and he kisses her one last time, the only thing on his mind is that he is not to attend, _yet._

 _Someday,_ he hopes.  
Soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> This was inspired by a post I saw on tumblr that said 'all the different ways you can say i love you', which I though was super soft and fluffy, and I was inspired to write this using one of the phrases as a prompt (I might write a couple more soon).
> 
> I kinda love that we all headcanon Andrew to be perfectly fine with Mer's past, because i don't actually think the show is going to play it so smooth, but for now we have fics to help ourselves, lol. 
> 
> (I know that they don't really talk about Mark and Lexie in the elevator, but that was a scene from one of my previous fics and i kinda figured everything I write happens within the same universe?? it's really a minor change, I'm just pointing it out in case you haven't read 'in dim light' yet)
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading, and let me know what you think!


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